The Doctor's Girls
by livingblues
Summary: The Doctor meets his most indifferent, badass companion yet. Little does he know she's a lot more than she seems, and she's got a friend who she'll love until the end of the universe. The Eleventh Doctor plus a female couple on the TARDIS dancing through time and space for the adventures, dramas, and heartaches of their lives. This is their story.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

 _ **Schweinehund**_

Violet Rouse invested her interests in a multitude of things, but she'd be damned if jewellery was one of them.

Beyond her metal lip ring, Vi made a habit of avoiding accessories altogether. Too much of a hassle. Anything that dangled or sparkled or glimmered wasn't worth her time and effort. But it was Olivia's birthday tomorrow, and Vi knew how much was riding on her finding the perfect present. The way her girlfriend's eyes lit up and her full pink lips grinned when she saw something beautiful. God, just picturing it….Vi had to hold back one of her rare smiles.

She'd been in _Melissa's_ jewellery shop - one of Olivia's favourite places in Cardiff - for easily over an hour now. Nothing had popped out yet, and she'd scoured the place twice already. It was no secret the shop assistant who made the mistake of offering Vi assistance an hour ago was as fed up as she was, if not more.

He cracked his neck, eyes weary. Vi could see the crumples in his suit from a long day behind the counter. "We could try the charm bracelets again?"

Vi shook her head. "Tacky."

"Did I tell you about the lockets?" he tried. "For an extra twenty pounds you can have a message engraved on the inside - very personal."

"When would that be finished?"

"Three days or so. The working week at most."

"No good. Her birthday's tomorrow."

"Then perhaps you should have planned more in advance…" the shop assistant muttered under his breath. He pulled a handkerchief out of his suit pocket and dabbed at the sweat on his forehead.

 _Guy's got a point_ , Vi sighed internally. God, this was useless. The clock behind the counter read 5.45pm. Closing in around fifteen minutes and still nothing to show for her efforts here. The ridiculousness of this venture was beginning to reveal itself: Olivia was fashion and make-up artist (and a damn good one at that, even if it only just paid the bills). Vi was the drum player in a crappy rock band that only ever got gigs at the local pub. In what universe was she qualified to buy her girlfriend jewellery that was a) meaningful and b) aesthetically pleasing?

The bell attached to the store's entrance chimed. Little late for a new customer to be coming in, but Vi paid no notice. She was busy contemplating the utter failure of her own existence.

Behind her, she heard a breathless young man talking to another customer in the store. "Oh, don't mind me dear. I'm just….browsing. Nothing suspicious. What's this we've got here?" The sound of hands clapping together. "Ooh, pretty…shiny things! How nice. You know I've always wondered why I don't have more pretty shiny things. Honestly, I -"

"Where are you, puny scum?! Show yourself!"

The shoppers in _Melissa's_ jewellery shop all jumped, curiously peering out the big glass window at the front of the store. Vi wasn't bothered, still fixated on finding the perfect birthday present for her girlfriend.

"Pay no notice to the scary voice outside," the young man advised everyone. He ducked behind one of the counters. "He's totally harmless, I assure you."

"DocTOR!" the low, sharp voice returned. Must've been an angry man in the streets outside. " _Show yourself_!"

 _Pew pew! Pew pew_!

Without warning, four laser beams shot through the big window. Shards of glass blew across the store. All of _Melissa's_ jewellery shoppers screeched and screamed, dropping to the floor.

Vi sighed. Perfect. Just perfect. Fifteen more minutes to choose the perfect birthday present for Olivia, and an alien had to attack the store. Typical. She flattened herself against the front wall beside the window where she couldn't be seen while everyone else acted stupid, flailing around and screaming on the floor.

And that's when she saw the young man for the first time. He was a tall, lanky thing with floppy brown hair and a ridiculous blue bow tie to complement his tweed jacket. His head popped up from behind a counter. "Is everyone alright?"

A chorus of screams responded.

The man nodded. "Excellent! Stay down everybody, it'll all be fine!" And back down he popped, his head disappearing behind one of the jewellery cabinets.

Vi rolled her eyes. She really didn't have time for this.

With a quick scan behind her to make sure the coast was clear, Vi crouched low and crawled behind the counter next to the ridiculous young man. He was fiddling furiously with a mysterious gadget glowing green at the tip and making the occasional buzz or chirp. Vi was sitting there at his side for a good five seconds without him noticing.

Finally, she said, "The Doctor, I'm guessing?"

The young man jumped, banging his head hard against the roof of the jewellery cabinet. "Good… _gracious_!" he blurted. "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on people?"

"What's that?" Vi asked, nodding at the gadget.

"It's a…a thing," he responded, resuming his mad tampering. "A very clever thing for clever people that you don't need to worry about."

"Is it gonna get Mr Anger Management out there to bugger off or not?"

 _Pew pew_! More laser beams firing off. "Doctor! Face me, you blumbering coward! Endure my _wrath_!"

Vi sighed. "Not a word."

"What?"

"'Blumbering'. It's not a word." She arched an eyebrow. "What'd you do then?"

The Doctor (apparently) cast her a short sideways glance. "Who says I did something?"

"Your friend isn't pissed for no reason."

The Doctor gasped. " _Language_."

"You're avoiding the question."

"Well I'm _busy_ , aren't I?" He smacked his gadget against his palm a couple times. "C'mon baby, show me what you've got…"

Vi paused. "The very clever thing not working?"

"If I can just alter the programming of this software slightly, it'll give me the perfect frequency to disarm Mr….what'd you call him?…Mr Anger Management." He squinted into the little panel on the side. "I've almost got it….just a little….."

 _Pew pew - SMASH_!

The cabinet behind Vi and the Doctor's heads burst apart. In what Vi saw as slow motion, delicate fragments of glass twirled through the air, caught the afternoon light and made sharp rainbows out of nanoseconds. It was the first slice of pain across her cheekbone that restored time. The Doctor threw an arm around her shoulders and shielded her from the rest of the blast. The clever gadget flew out of his grip.

"You WILL _PAY_ for your treachery Doctor!" Mr Anger Management roared outside the shop. "Either with your life, or with the lives of all your precious humans!" _Pew pew_! A woman's voice screamed. "Doctor! Face me now or this puny boy dies!"

Like Mr Anger Management had just spoken the magic words, the Doctor lurched to his feet and raced over the broken glass. Within seconds he was out on the main street, mere feet apart from the mysterious enemy Vi was yet to see herself. All that was left in the Doctor's wake was his mysterious gadget, blinking green at the tip.

Vi picked it up. Fiddled with a couple buttons. She frowned. _Screwdriver_? Didn't look awfully clever to her now she realized what it was. Just kind of….ridiculous. She was beginning to realize 'ridiculous' often coincided with this man.

"Doctor!" Mr Anger Management cried. "Finally come to die at the hands of the Sontaran empire? _Excellent_."

"Come on Strax," replied the Doctor, "we can work this out, alien to alien. No need to hold a human captive now, is there?"

Vi stood up, screwdriver still in hand, and wandered outside. Not so much to get a glimpse of the action or the alleged "aliens" in a standoff, but because it was almost dark and she wanted to go home. Her jewellery venture was fairly pointless now. Regardless of her intentions, she got a glimpse of the action anyway: one mouldy-looking potato of a creature all dressed up in fighting gear with a woman sobbing and quivering at his side. He had a laser rifle easily the length of his whole body (plus some) aimed at her head. Huh.

"The human's death would cause you suffering and misery, would it not Doctor?" potato man/Mr Anger Management said. "And I would enjoy nothing more than to make the Doctor _suffer_."

"Gah," the Doctor clucked his tongue, "stop being such a drama queen! I already said I was sorry!"

"You called my mother an flailing _schweinehund!"_

At the word, the Doctor stifled his giggles. He blushed sheepishly. "Yes, I suppose I did…..to be fair, how was I to know you'd recognize the phrase? It hasn't been used since the Germans were defeated in WWII!"

Vi frowned to herself, dragging back German lessons from her high school days. She raised her eyebrows. "You called his mother a piggish dog in German?"

"I am from the Sontaran empire!" potato man (Strax, it seemed) bellowed. "We familiarize ourselves with every piece of war slang the universe has produced!"

"Well, I told you I'm sorry," the Doctor whined, "what more do you want?"

"Enough talk!" Strax grinned. It was horrible; two rows of stubby dirty teeth peering out from behind his thin chapped lips. "I can just show you." He tightened his grip on the laser rifle.

"Ah-ah-ah, I don't think so sir!" the Doctor proclaimed. "I won't let you do that."

"Ha ha ha!" Strax sung. "You can't stop me!"

"Is that right?" The Doctor was patting himself down. He rummaged through all of his pockets - the two inside his jacket, the two outside his jacket, and the two in his trousers. When he came up empty-handed, he cleared his throat. "Just a moment…"

Vi, completely aware of what the Doctor was searching so frantically for, was content for a few moments to just watch him writhe and struggle. _That's what arrogance gets you here on planet Earth_.

Oh, but she supposed it wasn't right to let an innocent human die for her entertainment. She sighed, pushed herself off the wall of _Melissa's_ jewellery shop, and strolled over to the Doctor. He was still madly searching. A sweat had broken out across his forehead.

"Got something of yours," Vi told him.

"Uh, sorry," he muttered back, not even casting her a glance, "a little busy. Looking for something. Something very important. Very, very important. Something very…."

"Clever?"

Finally, the Doctor stopped. Hands frozen in his jacket pockets mid-search, he turned on Vi and scrutinzed her very closely. "Say, it's you again isn't it? You from the pretty shiny shop. Wouldn't happen to have seen my -"

Without another word, Vi held up the screwdriver. The Doctor looked at it, then back up at her, then back down at it. A slow grin stretched out across his face. Vi had handed him the damn thing and walked off before he could say anything else. She was bored and irritated about going home empty-handed before Olivia's birthday tomorrow. Everything would be closing now.

Behind her, the screwdriver let off a three-second buzz at what Vi assumed was the "perfect frequency". Strax's laser weapon was rendered useless. Everyone was free to go home, happy ending for all.

To be honest, Vi couldn't care less. All she cared about now was getting home, seeing her beautiful girlfriend, and figuring out what the hell she was going to do about that girlfriend's birthday tomorrow. There was only so many times multiple orgasms could soften the blow of shitty gifts. Yeah, so technically she just saved someone's life. Big deal. People are born and die every day. Vi took it upon herself to decide who was important and who wasn't. Other than Olivia, that list was quite literally non-existent.

So she walked home, indifferent to the wild events of her afternoon, to the only thing in her life that really mattered.

Olivia was waiting for her in the living room. She was watching some God-awful reality show in her sweats, looking more beautiful every time the light from the TV caught her face. "Hey baby - what took you so long? I missed you."

Vi smiled. "Nothing important."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

 _ **A Pretty Something for a Special Someone**_

If the shrill doorbell wasn't enough to wake Vi up at 6am the next morning, the continuous knocking certainly was.

Lying beside her in their shared bed, Olivia moaned softly. "Who's at the door?"

"Shh," Vi planted a kiss on her forehead, "I'll check. Go back to sleep."

Vi sat up in nothing but her black cotton underwear and long socks, threw on a tatteredsleeveless shirt, and shuffled down the short corridor to the front door. The utter twat behind the door had only grown more insistent, now alternating between pings of the doorbell and rampant knocks.

Vi flung the door open. " _What_?" she hissed.

It was him, the ridiculous man with his "very clever" screwdriver and tatty bowtie. The Doctor. His face lit up at the sight of her. "Hello!"

" _Shh_!"

The Doctor cocked his head. "What's the matter? Oh dear, I didn't wake you did I?"

Vi turned her head to peer back down the corridor, checking for signs of her girlfriend. No way was she going to let this crazy alien man-child wake up Olivia at 6am on her birthday.

So she slid out of the flat, closing the door softly behind her. The Doctor opened his mouth to speak again, but she held up a finger to stop him. She nodded at the stairs leading outside and the two of them hurried down into Cardiff's crisp, grey morning.

Vi folded her arms. "Gonna tell me how you found my flat?"

"Ah yes," the Doctor nodded, "of course. Don't worry, nothing creepy. Just got your fingerprints off my screwdriver, ran them through a couple government programs, matched your profile to your ID, and got your address from that!"

"You have a very distorted perception of 'creepy'."

He frowned like he didn't understand the comment, but decided to ignore it. "Besides, I only wanted to thank you for your help yesterday. I couldn't find you after I took my friend home."

"Your friend the alien," Vi clarified.

The Doctor blushed and smiled sheepishly. "Noticed that, did you?"

"Hard to miss."

"You don't seem very frightened. Or really….shaken at all, actually."

Vi shrugged like, _yeah? So?_

The Doctor laughed. "Seen many aliens before?"

"Doctor, I'm not fond of being woken up at 6am for smalltalk," Vi told him. "You're welcome. That what you want?"

"What were you doing yesterday in that shop?" he shot back.

Vi raised her eyebrows like it was obvious. "Shopping."

"For whom?"

"Why so curious?"

"Because…" the Doctor moved in a step closer to her, the knowledge and wisdom in his eyes suddenly betraying his mask of childish naïvety. One corner of his lips curved upward. "Someone as blunt and indifferent as Violet Rouse from Cardiff doesn't buy pretty jewellery for just anyone. I watched you get shot at by an alien and sigh with boredom. Whoever you were shopping for must be pretty special to have all your attention."

"Mm." Vi nodded. " _Violet._ You really did look up my records."

"I interrupted you yesterday," the Doctor proceeded, "in the middle of what I'm safe to assume was a very meaningful shopping adventure. But I won't apologize just yet."

"Does that imply you're going to turn up at my door at 6am another morning? Because I would sincerely appreciate if you didn't."

"No." The Doctor smiled. "It implies I might not have to." He paused, still nice and close up in her face. "Behind me. What do you see?"

Vi kept her eyes on the Doctor for another moment, tense at the thought of him so effortlessly penetrating her mind, then flicked her gaze beyond his shoulder. Parked on the pavement right by the kerb was an British police box, painted blue just like they were in the 50s and 60s. She hadn't seen a police box outside her flat before and knew instantly it must've been his. She gently bit at the inside of her lip - couldn't help it. She was intrigued, but she'd be damned if he got the pleasure of knowing that.

Vi brought her eyes back to the Doctor. "Make a habit of dragging around an old police box?"

"To the naked eye, yes," the Doctor grinned, "to the, uh… _clothed_ eye, it's much cooler than that."

"I get the feeling our definitions of 'cool' are quite different."

"Well, let's test that theory shall we?" Without warning the Doctor jumped back, twirled around a couple times, and landed next to his mysterious blue police box. Out of his tweed jacket pocket, he produced a particularly unextraordinary little key. He waggled his eyebrows.

Vi narrowed her glare on the Doctor, waiting for him to crack. If he was hiding something, toying with her, tricking her, he'd crack. But the Doctor stared right back with that playful expectance, letting her study him for as long as she needed to. The man was hardly an open book, but whatever he was keeping from her….it wasn't going to hurt her.

So finally, Vi nodded. Never taking her eyes off the Doctor, she advanced toward the blue police box. As she approached, he dug his key into the lock of the door and twisted. There was a quiet clicking noise.

The Doctor stepped back, an excited little smile on his face. "Whenever you're ready, Violet Rouse."

Vi took a small step forward, pushed on the police box door, and stepped inside.

The first thing she noticed were the colours. A warm amber glow radiated through the circular lights splattered across the walls of all different sizes. Beyond the three-step walkway was a hexagonal glass floor supported by metal planks, tubes and wires, and a railway surrounding it. Smack bang in the centre of this hexagonal glass floor was what appeared to be a console: buttons and levers and screens lining every inch of it. The place was complete and utter chaos, and yet….it all made sense. Everything had it's place.

Vi took those three steps forward onto the glass floor and stopped. "Huh."

The Doctor danced on in behind her. " _Huh_? Is that all you've got to say?"

"Well, it…." Vi took a deep breath, soaking it all in, "it's certainly bigger on the inside."

The Doctor grinned to himself. "There it is."

Before she could ask, the Doctor leapt forward past her and twirled around the console with a great big stupid smile on his face. "So! Violet Rouse needs something pretty for a very special someone! Let's go find it!" He fiddled with a couple buttons and yanked down on a big red lever. "Violet, be a dear and close that door behind you."

Vi paused. All her life she'd told herself not to trust the unknown. What you didn't know could screw you over. But oh, it was so deliciously tempting to take the risk.

She said, "You're an alien."

The Doctor peered at her from behind the console. "What makes you say that?"

"You mentioned it yesterday."

"Did I? Huh." He scratched his head. "Should really be more careful about exposing such personal information."

"This is your spaceship then."

The Doctor was quiet a moment, a slow smile coming across his face. "Spaceship, time-machine, phone box, take your pick."

"Well, what do you call it?"

"Me? I call it the TARDIS."

"An acronym."

"Very good! Quick. I like that." He grinned. " _Time And Relative Dimension In Space_. Pretty cool, huh?"

Slowly, Vi took two steps backwards. The Doctor studied her, suddenly remembering just how overwhelming this could all be to first-timers. He walked forward, trailing his hand along the console. "Violet?"

For a moment she was quiet, still backing toward the door. She stretched her arm out behind her as if she were preparing to yank the door back and sprint away. Her sharp grey eyes were wide.

The Doctor froze. "Violet, just wait a moment."

Vi brushed her fingertips against the door, took one final step back, and slowly closed it. She never took this sharp grey eyes off the Doctor when she said, "Vi."

The Doctor heaved a sigh of relief. "Vi? What's a Vi?"

"Me." She narrowed her glare. "It's Vi, not Violet. Got it?"

He nodded. "Yes. I got it."

"Good." A surge of life raced through her and she marched forward to the console. She inspected all the panels and buttons and levers with an intensity that could set fires. "Something pretty for a special someone." Her gaze challenged, bright and penetrating. "Let's see what you've got."

The Doctor grinned. He flipped and tugged a couple more levers, rang a bell, and the TARDIS gave a sharp jolt. Vi's heart jolted with it, her head spinning. The Doctor suggested she hold onto a railing, but in this moment stability was the last thing Vi wanted. She wanted to fly with this incredible machine. As it jostled and spun and danced, she got jostled and spun and danced with it. Arms outstretched, she bumped around the console and fought to keep her footing. The Doctor was ecstatic with laughter and cheers.

There was one great final jolt. It very nearly threw Vi off her feet - she crashed straight for the Doctor, but he caught her by her forearms. Everything she didn't trust about humans - their eyes, their smell, their touch - was nonexistent in the Doctor's grip. The man's blood was laced with foreign matter. Vi recognized nothing. Where she knew this should've been a big GET AWAY NOW sign was instead something so….alluring.

"We've moved, haven't we?" she whispered.

"See for yourself," the Doctor returned like a dare he knew she couldn't resist.

Vi pushed herself away from him and raced for the door. Hand pressed against the wooden surface, she paused. Breathed. _You just travelled in a spaceship that's bigger on the inside. Are you ready for this?_

Back still turned to the Doctor so he couldn't see, she smiled. And then, she pushed open the door and stepped outside in nothing more than a pair of long socks, black cotton underwear, and a sleeveless shirt. The Doctor followed her out, closing the TARDIS behind him.

It took a couple seconds for Vi's eyes to adjust to the morning sunlight. God, she'd never seen a sky so bright. She blinked and her vision cleared, imaginary sequins popping up here and there. Slowly, they cleared away to reveal a worn gravel road leading to a set of great iron gates in the distance. Vi guessed it was behind that big rusty gate they'd find the excitement she itched for. The heads of mountains stretched out beyond the horizon in every direction she turned.

"The Ottoman village of Eski Doğanbey," the Doctor's voice spoke from behind her.

"Turkey," Vi breathed. She frowned. "Ottoman. No, that's not right." She turned to him. "The Ottoman empire reached dissolution in the 1920s." Then it hit her: TARDIS. T for time. 'Time-machine', the Doctor had said earlier. Vi froze. "What year is it?"

The Doctor grinned. "Violet Rouse - sorry, _Vi_ \- welcome to Turkey, 1432." He strolled onto the gravel road and extended his arms, twirling in a circle. "Soon to become one of the most sought-after jewellery producers in the world."

"Something pretty for a special someone," Vi murmured.

"As promised," the Doctor winked.

Vi stared down the road at those big iron gates. Her blood sung, urging her forward to run run _run_. An old world at her fingertips to explore.

"I knew I could crack you," said the Doctor.

Vi didn't even glance back. "Crack me?"

"That's right. I didn't buy the whole apathy masquerade for a second! Admit it…" he stepped forward and nudged her arm, "you're ravenous for adventure."

She pushed him back, much harder. Her glare was simmering. "Pretend you know anything about me one more time."

The Doctor stopped. Slowly, he raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. Should've known better than to prod too hard at her cemented barricades. The loss of breath and glimmer in her piercing grey eyes had almost let him forget how many barriers this girl had up.

Before he could respond, apologize, the Doctor saw Vi's pressing glare lift off him and catch something behind his shoulder. He turned around to see a young Turkish man carrying a long spear sprinting toward them like his life depended on it. Must've shot out from the thick forest on the other end of the road. The Doctor's best guess was an individual hunting trip.

"Look at him go!" the Doctor whistled. He turned back to Vi. "Perhaps he's late for an appointment."

Still looking past him, Vi tilted her head. A small frown drew a crease between her eyebrows. "Somehow I doubt that."

When the Doctor turned back to the forest again, he was inclined to agree.

An 800-pound Eurasian cave lion had sprung out of the trees and was racing down the track after the hunter. Which happened to also be toward Vi and the Doctor. With tall rounded ears, a tufted tail, faint stripes, a primitive mane and the biggest teeth Vi had ever laid eyes on, this thing was out for blood…..and the pair stood there dumbfounded like raw meat on a stick.

The Doctor swallowed. "Oh dear."

Just approaching earshot, the Turkish hunter screamed, " _Run_!"

That was all the encouragement Vi and the Doctor needed. They sprinted into action just as the hunter shot past them. The three ran for their lives down the worn gravel road.

Sharp pieces of rock and dirt pierced through Vi's socks as she ran, but she never slowed. She sprinted in a straight line with a breath held deep in her lungs. No time to breathe when you were running for your life it seemed. Adrenaline buzzed a fire through her veins, keeping her going on and on and on closer to the iron gates of the Ottoman village.

"That….that's a _lion_!" the Doctor gasped. His arms did this funny flailing thing as he struggled to keep up. "What on earth were you doing prodding a _lion?!"_

"It's a long story!" the hunter shouted back.

Vi almost stopped in her tracks. "Doctor, are we speaking Turkish?"

" _Now?_ " he wheezed, "you're asking me this _now_?"

"I'll take that as a yes," she muttered. Still sprinting as fast as her long dark legs would take her, she glanced back. The lion was gaining, looking hungrier and more vicious by the minute. Vi pushed herself even harder.

They were approaching the gates. A group of four or five Turkish villagers were waiting for them, screaming out to run faster. They cracked the iron gates open and frantically waved the three in.

The Turkish hunter was the first to safety. Vi was next, followed closely by the Doctor. Turned out getting past the gate wasn't the problem…getting the gate _closed_ was.

Three villagers plus the hunter grabbed hold of the iron bars and pulled. Bones, tendons and muscles in their arms bulged and quivered in effort. A couple of the women in the streets who had just been observing before dropped their baskets to help.

"It's jammed!" a man shouted. "God help us, the damn thing won't close!"

"Doctor," Vi said, still out of breath, "this the part where you do something clever?" She normally wasn't the one for pushing expectations on people, but she estimated about ten seconds before that bloodthirsty cave lion was in the village. The raw emotionless hunger flickered in its feline eyes. It was so close now she could see the details. Hear the breath. Feel the thud of its paws on the earth.

Villagers were screaming now, pulling with all their might. There had to have been at least ten of them on the gate. The Doctor was flailing and bouncing around with his sonic screwdriver, pointing it at things and making no difference. Three seconds and the entire Ottoman village was cat food. Vi knew what she had to do.

She shoved through the crowd on the gate, grabbed hold of the iron bars, and shoved it forward with all her might. The gate swung open further and collided with the cave lion in a powerful grating of teeth and metal. The mighty beast flew back onto the gravel and landed on its side with a loud whine. _For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction_ , Vi thought to herself as she too got tossed back a couple feet.

She landed back on the ground in the village and rolled over a couple of times, gravel opening cuts and pressing bruises into her flesh. Vi coughed out once and lay on her back for a couple of seconds, waiting for her breath to slow.

The Doctor wasn't quite that patient. He yelped, "Vi!" and raced towards her. Before he could reach out to help her up, she'd shaken him off and gotten herself to her feet. Her body was still buzzing, little sparklers drizzling through her blood. She saw the fizzles die before her eyes and shook her head around until they were gone. Something hot was streaming out of her nose. She wiped it with the back of her hand and saw blood.

The Doctor was frantically scanning her with his screwdriver, the stupid thing making buzzing noises up and down her body. The frequency of the buzzing went up three notches every time it got to a place she was aching.

"Lots of cuts and bruises," the Doctor said unhappily, "but you'll be alright. Do you feel alright?" Then, like he hadn't noticed it until now, he double took. "Vi! You're not wearing shoes!" He frowned. "Or pants."

"Mm," Vi muttered. She reached in the Doctor's front pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, mopping up the blood under her nose. She peered past the Doctor's shoulder to examine the iron gate. In the distance, a cave-lion's rump was disappearing back down the road toward the forest with its tail between its legs.

Following her eyes, the Doctor turned around. He giggled like a lunatic man-child he was. "That, Violet Rouse, was fan _tastic_. Absolutely fanTAStic!"

"Vi," she reminded him, shoving the now-bloody handkerchief back in his pocket, "and thanks."

To show their appreciation for Vi's quick-thinking and her courage, the people of the Ottoman village discovered a canine tooth the cave lion had lost when Vi smacked it with the iron gate and strung it up with a beautiful gold chain and stone pendant. On the base of the tooth, one of the artisans glued on a cap of gold.

When their work was finished, the Turkish hunter who had run with them earlier lifted the necklace to place it around Vi's neck. Gently, she stopped him. "No." He cocked his head. "This isn't for me." She turned around and met the Doctor's eyes with a tiny knowing smile. "A pretty something for a special someone."

"Well, Doctor," Vi said as the TARDIS materialized back outside her flat in Cardiff. She held up the beautiful gold chain with a small stone pendant and lion tooth draping off the end. "Consider your apology accepted."

He nodded. "I am glad to hear it." Like always, he hadn't stopped smiling, but there was something different about his face now. Something….sad. The kind of face people got when something ended before they were ready to let it go. Vi felt an odd pang at her chest in leaving him there. Leaving his spaceship - the blue police box bigger on the inside - behind.

But she had a girlfriend waiting upstairs on her birthday. Imagining Olivia lying in bed, curled up in the bedsheets with her mess of white-blonde curls taking up half the pillow, was enough to ease any regrets leaving the TARDIS behind.

So, with a final salute, she disappeared out the door and slipped upstairs to wish her girlfriend a happy birthday.

The Doctor didn't leave immediately. He tried to distract himself with a little electrical engineering, fiddling with some wires beneath the console. Alone again. The TARDIS gave a low hum. He smiled. Okay, not _quite_ alone.

He didn't know how long he'd been tampering beneath the console in his little swing before he decided the job would do - he could redecorate the library another day - and waltzed on back upstairs. He played around with a couple switches, just wasting time to be honest. There was a part of the Doctor that felt like he was waiting for something, and if he just held off a little longer that 'something' would show itself: a swarm of killer bees would attack the people Cardiff, cybermen would storm through the streets, a platoon of Judoon soldiers would abduct a hospital and send it to the moon (again), Vi would come back….

But why? Because everyone came back. No one left the TARDIS that easily once they'd gotten a taste - not even an apathetic drum player with a menacing metal lip piercing like Vi.

~ _Vi pushed him back, much harder. Her glare was simmering. "Pretend you know anything about me one more time_."~

The Doctor sighed. Maybe he really was wrong about her. God knew that's what she wanted him to think at least.

So that was it then. Fine. Maybe he'd pop back a few decades and see if Elvis was free for brunch. They were due for a catch-up anyway….the Doctor poked around some of his toggles, adjusted his screens, and got ready for take-off when suddenly…..

The doors to the TARDIS burst open. "Who the _hell_ do you think you are, mister?!"

He spun around. "Um, hello?"

A very angry-looking young woman with a tangled mess of champagne blonde curls sticking out in every which direction stormed down the corridor of the TARDIS onto the console platform. She was still in her pyjamas - pink polka-dot shorts and a short-sleeved shirt. Everything about her aggressive stance - hands on hips, big blue eyes burning with demands - was contradictory to the person she was beneath it all. Cute, small, and sweet.

"Don't _hello_ me, sir!"

The Doctor glanced back over both shoulders. He raised his eyebrows at the flushed blonde woman; sheepish for a reason he didn't know yet.

"Yes, you," she snapped. "You have a lot of explaining to do!"

The Doctor opened his mouth as if to ask, " _uh…who are you again_?" She didn't give him the chance.

"Five minutes ago my girlfriend returned to our flat upstairs all bruised, bloody and dirty and I'm to understand that is because of you." She took two defiant struts forward in her pink polka-dot pyjamas and poked him hard in the chest. " _No_ one gets my girl bruised and bloody. No one. You got that?"

"Um, sorry," he begun, "I'm not sure I quite unders - ah, Vi!"

Violet had strolled in the doorway behind her friend, a small smile on her lips and her arms folded. She nodded at him. "See you've met Olivia."

"Listen up, you," the blonde - Olivia - poked the Doctor again in the chest. "Get my Vi scratched up like this again and I'll….I'll…." for the first time since she'd stormed into the TARDIS, Olivia was finally glancing around at the walls and buttons and screens and stairs. She started to frown. "I'll…." She blinked. "Oh. Oh my."

Movements just as impassive as ever, Vi meandered up to the console. Olivia's big blue eyes were sure to pop right out of her skull they were open so wide. Her face had gone blank, stunned, full pink lips slightly parted while words escaped her. "It…it…it's…."

"Bigger on the inside," Vi helped her out. She brushed a tender hand across Olivia's neck and softly kissed her jawline. "Yes."

The Doctor met Vi's eyes and arched one eyebrow. "The special someone, I presume?"

Vi didn't respond, she didn't have to: there was this look on her face - one he hadn't seen yet and to be honest he hadn't thought her capable of. An expression of _submission._ The sharp grey hooks in her irises melted into warm pools of mercury. An upwards curve on her lips without the secrets beneath it. For the briefest of moments, while Vi had her eyes trained on Olivia, she hid nothing. All her barriers were down. Clearly, Olivia was that "special something" and so, so much more. She was Vi's key.

The Doctor straightened his back. He brushed flecks of dirt off his coat and he adjusted his bow tie. He held out his hand in front of Vi's champagne-blonde key in polka-dot pyjamas and cleared his throat.

"Olivia, it is a great pleasure to meet you. I'm the Doctor…." he grinned, "welcome to the TARDIS."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

 _ **Adventures to Come**_

"So….what do you think?"

Olivia and Vi stood at the peak of the tallest mountain on the Terronda Prime and watched the sun descend over Earth's horizon in the distance. Olivia could sense the sharp rays of light threatening to blind her wide eyes, but she couldn't bring herself to look away. Terronda Prime's atmosphere was a soft French pink and its circling winds made her feel like she was in the eye of a giant candy-floss tornado. The clouds were edible. The air was warm, sweet liquor and every breath was gradually increasing her blood alcohol level.

It was only when Vi slid her hand over Olivia's that Olivia realized she'd been crying. The blue of her irises jumped to life in the face of extraordinary beauty and trickled down her face. She laughed. As if the sound surprised her, she clasped a hand over her mouth and laughed some more. She'd never laughed on another planet before.

While Olivia watched the sun fall, Vi watched Olivia. Both the girls captivated by an image of beauty. The Doctor smiled. Yes, he had chosen well. He always did.

"Is this what you do, Doctor?" Olivia whispered. She didn't look at him as she spoke. Terronda Prime still had its grips on her attention. Nevertheless, she managed to speak: "Take people away and show them….something amazing?"

The Doctor shrugged one shoulder, still smiling. "Many somethings, if you'd like."

Olivia shook her head. "What could be more amazing than this?" She laughed again, tipping her head back to the sweet pink skies. "Out here we are _gods_. We can do anything! Be anything!"

"And what would that be?" the Doctor wanted to know. "If you could be anything?"

"Well…" Olivia thought about it. "Back home I work as a make-up artist for low-class photoshoots and runways. Out here I could…I could…be an alien stylist! Conquer the solar system outfit by outfit." Suddenly she gasped. "Doctor - are there _aliens_? _Tell_ me there are aliens."

At that, Vi bowed her head to hide a smirk. She cast the Doctor a knowing look and he responded with a wink. Thankfully Olivia didn't notice, gaping at Earth's silhouette in the distance again.

The new trio dined on freshly-cooked TARDIS spaghetti bolognese at the peak of Terronda Prime's tallest mountain until the pink ebbed away into a murky silver colour. Kind of like Vi's eyes got when she was happy. But the Doctor was growing restless and fancied a trip to the 70s at the height of the disco frenzy. Olivia was hysterical. She went rummaging about the TARDIS for a historically-accurate outfit for herself and her girlfriend and got them both prepped for a night out on the town. Go-go boots, flared clothes, bouncy hair and bright make-up.

At first Vi wouldn't even dance. The three of them waltzed into the nearest club and Olivia and the Doctor got their groove on until their joints hurt while Vi just watched. She ordered drinks and blew off dudes who took one look at the mysterious girl with long lean legs and daring cleavage and pounced.

Midway through Anita Ward's 1979 ' _You Can Ring My Bell_ ', a dude in white leathers with a cowlick approached her table. He reached for a sip of Vi's drink, which she pulled away. Vi arched an eyebrow. "Problem?"

"Got this thirst," he told her and licked his lips, "something tells me you'd like to share."

"'Fraid your intuition's screwed you over on that one."

He laughed. "Alright. You like to play it tough. Want me to earn it, huh? I can do that." He beckoned to the dance-floor behind him. "You. Me. Bells ringing. Let's dance."

"I'm good."

"Huh?"

" _No_."

At that moment, the Doctor bopped and popped his way over to Vi's table. When he made a grab for her drink, she didn't pull it away. Instead she watched him gulp the whole thing down, taste the alcohol, and spew it all out back into the glass. "Bleh!"

Cowlick cleared his throat. "My bad, didn't realize the lady was spoken for."

The Doctor turned on him. "Oh, hello!" He grinned himself silly at the sight of Cowlick's, well….cowlick. "Look at you! Look at your brilliant clothes! Look at your brilliant hair! Vi, are you seeing his hair?"

"I'm seeing it. Now I'm seeing it walk away."

Cowlick coughed, "Whore."

The Doctor frowned. Paused. He looked at Vi. "Is this gentleman bothering you?"

"Aw, I'd hardly call it a…. _bother_ ," Cowlick smiled, reaching under the table to slide a grimy hand up Vi's leg.

Before Vi could react (by promptly grabbing his nuts and flinging him across the room, obviously), the Doctor gasped in outrage and yanked out his sonic. With a short high-pitched buzz, the whole tub of wax Cowlick had brushed through his hair singed his stiff blonde locks straight down to the scalp until he was bald as the day he was born. All that remained was that singular trademark cowlick.

Still pointing the sonic at Cowlick like a warning, the Doctor said, "Take your filthy hands off her or you lose the eyebrows too. And trust me, it's very inconvenient to go about your daily business with no eyebrows."

"What the hell?!" Cowlick felt his head. His eyes were horrified. "What've you DONE?"

"Vi, baby, there you are!" Her timing spectacular as ever, Olivia grooved on up to the table and took her girlfriend's hand. She leaned down to plant her lips on Vi's and smashed them together until neither girl could breathe. It was only when they were getting lightheaded she pulled away and grinned. "Let's dance."

This time, Vi did not refuse the invitation. She followed her girlfriend onto the dance-floor with a final remark tossed over her shoulder: "You're damn right I'm spoken for."

And they danced until their feet gave in.

No one knew what time it was when they were all back in the TARDIS, slumped over on the chairs around the console. In fact, no one really cared. In a machine where time was meaningless, what did it matter how long you were out?

The Doctor, still dressed all nice and proper in his top hat and waistcoat, flipped a switch. He met Vi's eyes across the console where she sat on a chair with Olivia sprawled across her lap. "I suppose you girls will be wanting to go home?"

Vi smirked. "Kicking us out, Doctor?"

"'M not sleeping, promise," Olivia murmured. Her eyelids fluttered. "Just….resting my eyes." Feeling herself drifting off, she gave Vi a nudge. "Don't let me sleep."

"Okay," Vi responded. Everyone in the room knew it was a complete lie, but it seemed to appease Olivia regardless. She fumbled for the lion tooth around her neck and brought it to her lips, kissing the tip softly. Vi's breath shuddered. God, she was so beautiful.

Mere seconds later Olivia was out cold, breathing deep and slow. Vi watched her, stroked her blonde curls away from her face, completely and utterly mesmerized.

The Doctor cleared his throat. "Vi?"

"Mm."

"Permission to…..pose an inquiry of character?"

"Granted," she murmured, although he thought she may have granted just about anything right now.

"You and Olivia. You have something special. Different, but undoubtedly special."

If Vi hadn't nodded along to his remarks, the Doctor wouldn't have even thought she was listening. She was still watching Olivia's sleeping figure with such glorious intensity, captivated by every breath.

"It's what you do to each other," he tried to word his confusion, "how the relationship is balanced. I've never seen anything like it. It's as if Olivia….brings out a whole other person in you."

" _Makes_ me a person," Vi corrected.

"Hm." The Doctor considered this. "Have you known each other a long time then?"

Vi paused. "Feels like a lifetime."

She had stiffened, so the Doctor knew he was pushing it, but he was too fascinated by the chemistry the couple brought onto the TARDIS to back down now. "How did you meet?"

"Olivia…found me."

"Found you?"

Then, Vi finally looked up. Her facial expression was completely blank when she said, "I performed a gig with my band at a music festival in Bute Park, and afterwards she approached me and long-story-short I ended up fucking her under a drum kit till she screamed. Quite romantic really."

At this, the Doctor straightened like a pole had been stuck down his spine. He swallowed, face whiter than snow. His eyes looked just about ready to pop out of his face he was so horrified. He straightened his bowtie, cleared his throat, and finally responded in a weak voice, "Yes, quite….quite _romantic_. Indeed."

The Doctor tugged down on a final lever and clapped his hands together. "Alrighty then! I'll be in a room - not sure which room yet, I'll just wander until I find something interesting. Good old sexy always delivers." He patted one of the TARDIS walls and gave a schoolboy's smile, sheepish at the naughty word. "There's a bedroom down the hall and second on the left for you and Olivia to…uh, whatever it is you lot do in bedrooms. Never really knew myself." He leapt up the stairs and started down a corridor when he turned around and tipped off his top hat. "Sweet dreams, Vi. Olivia."

And Vi was left alone with a peaceful girlfriend still out cold across her lap. She caressed Olivia's rosy cheek and planted a butterfly kiss on her temple.

 _Yes, Olivia_ , Vi thought, _you sleep now_.

There were many adventures yet to come.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

 _ **The Song Sounds the Same**_

Olivia studied her girlfriend's face with an artist's keen eyes, make-up brush in hand.

"Hm," she said.

Vi cocked an eyebrow. "Hm?"

"Nothing, it's just…." Olivia sighed. She averted her gaze to the screen behind Vi's head depicting an image of the endangered _lunevringer -_ translated loosely to " _moon dancer_ " in English: a purple-skinned creature with silver glittery horns sprouting from its sternum, near-transparent blue irises, and no mouth. It was no doubt they were beautiful beings. Turning a human _into_ one of them with nothing but the power of make-up and a few costumes the TARDIS kept handy, however….that was a bit of a challenge.

"Doctor!" Olivia called out from the dresser. "Do we really have to disguise ourselves as aliens to get onto this planet? I mean, I'm sure the locals wouldn't mind a couple harmless humans hanging around plus….whatever the hell you are." She laughed. "We come in peace, right?"

"You want a piece?" the Doctor called back from the console room. "A piece of what?"

"No, _peace_. We come in _peace_ , right?"

There was a pause. "There might be some birthday cake left in the kitchen!"

Olivia groaned and Vi smirked. Olivia mouthed, " _I'll be right back_ " and left the dresser to meet the Doctor in the console room.

A big stupid grin took up the Doctor's face when she jumped up the steps. "Olivia! Did you bring cake?"

"Are you sure we need to wear alien disguises on this planet we're going to? It's just, turning my girlfriend into a _moon dancer_ isn't exactly what I specialize in as a make-up artist."

The Doctor just looked at her for a couple seconds uncertainly. "So….no cake?"

"Enough about the cake!" she laughed. "Seriously - I'm not sure how much I can do with the whole alien makeover thing!"

"Olivia," the Doctor said. He walked around the TARDIS and dropped his hands on her shoulders, bowing his head to look her in the eye. "Olivia Simkins, my make-up extraordinaire! Don't go doubting yourself now."

"Doctor, these things are _purple,"_ Olivia reminded him.

"You're _white_!" the Doctor responded. "And Vi has dark African blood! Both equally mystic colouring on many a-planet."

"Woah, really?" she grinned. "Man that is weird. Awesome. Weird. Both." She sighed. "And totally not why I'm here. I just wanted to know why it's so important we blend in…wherever it is we're going."

Slowly, the Doctor slid his hands down Olivia's shoulders until he'd released her. He turned his back on her and fiddled around the console a bit. "I'm afraid humans aren't on the fondest of terms with creatures from the planet Gåel."

"Well what did they -" she stopped herself and rephrased, "what did _we_ do?"

"It's a long story. An _old_ story."

"Sounds pretty important to me."

"Yes," the Doctor murmured, his back still to her, "very…important."

Olivia waited a moment and got nothing. She cleared her throat. "Think you might want to let me in on this long, old, important story?"

A pause. Then he spun back around, eyes lit up again. "Get those alien disguises perfect - I know you will, Olivia Simkins - and we don't need to go down that road." He clapped his hands together. "Chop-chop! Got planets to see!"

She stood there for a moment, arms folded suspiciously.

Suddenly, the Doctor jumped. "Oh! I nearly forgot!" He scurried around the console, dipped downstairs for half a minute and popped back up with something in his hand. He held it out to Olivia - one colourless slip of plasticine - and grinned. "For Vi."

"Um.." Olivia took the plasticine and prodded it between her fingers uncertainly, "can't say I've ever used much play-doe in my profession, Doctor."

"What, play-doe? No, no, no, it's a _mask_."

"A mask?"

"Yes! Soak it in some purpley watercolours, stick it to Vi's face and it'll meld to her flesh to cover up her pesky human mouth. The _lunevringers_ don't have mouths, you know."

"I _had_ noticed that," Olivia laughed a little cautiously.

"Oh, and…..left side of the dresser cupboards and… _two_ rows down, you'll find some lovely stick-on diamonds that closely mimic luveringer freckles. Or birthmarks." He shrugged. "Go crazy!"

"O…kay." The Doctor started to prance off again when Olivia grabbed his wrist. "Wait - what about me?"

"What about you?"

"Am I gonna be a…a _luveringer_ too?"

"Ooooh, good point. Luveringers are occasionally a highly conservative species; rarely seen with their mating partners."

"Excuse me - _mating_ partners?"

The Doctor cleared his throat. "Anyway! We'll have to get you another costume…." he twirled around the console and pulled out one of the monitors, pushing a couple buttons to reveal another alien creature. This one had sleek burgundy-coloured flesh, gold-plated eyebrows, sweet pink irises and thick feather eyelashes. Also, perhaps more significantly, _this_ creature actually wore clothes.

"The _kerryanger_ ," said the Doctor, "a species closely related to the luveringer, but slightly more evolved."

Olivia considered this. "Like…the humans to our apes?"

"Uh…" the Doctor scratched his head, "more like the homo sapiens to your neanderthals."

"Huh." Olivia took a moment. "You know, that actually kind of makes sense to me."

"Then what are you waiting for?" the Doctor grinned. He spun Olivia around under his arm and lead her down the stairs. She yelped and giggled, following him until they both met Vi at the doorway of the dresser. She'd slid on the luveringer costume as supplied by the TARDIS's infinite closet and stood with her hands on her hips, purple and exotic from the shoulders down with two glittery horns curling out around her collar bones.

Olivia gasped. "Holy…. _god_ , you look like-like -"

"Like an alien," the Doctor smiled.

A smirk tugged up one corner of Vi's lips. Then the Doctor was exiled from the dressing room so Olivia could finish her work.

There was no doubt about it: they would be the most stunning aliens yet.

Much to the Doctor's impatience, it took a solid two hours before Olivia was satisfied with her and Vi's get-ups. To her credit, the Doctor had to admit they looked absolutely…..amazing.

"Next to you guys, people might call _me_ human!" he exclaimed.

"Oi," Olivia nudged him, "what's wrong with being human?"

Vi snorted. "Uh, everything?"

The TARDIS touched down on planet Gåel's soil at local time of 1300 hours. Buzzing with excitement, the girls made a wild leap for the door. The Doctor slid in front of it and held out his arms to stop them, a warning in his eyes.

"Not so fast," he said, "still got a couple ground rules to cover."

"Doc _tor_ ," Olivia whined, "I did the make up and costumes like you asked."

"We won't wander off, ingest any mysterious substances, or join a gang," Vi promised. "Happy?"

The Doctor folded his arms, cross at having his mind read. "You're forgetting something."

The girls went quiet, waiting. Finally Olivia said, "Well?"

" _Well_ ," the Doctor responded, "there's a big question you haven't asked yet. A very important question."

"Just spit it out Doctor," Vi sighed.

He spread out his arms. "Isn't it obvious? The question is _why_. _Why_ are we here?"

Vi rolled her eyes. "We didn't ask the question because the answer is what's obvious."

"Oh is it now? What is then, if it's so obvious?"

"We're _here_ to explore!" Olivia bursted out. "And, if we've got some spare time, redeem humanity's bad rep around here. Preferably without exposing ourselves as human. Right?"

The Doctor double took. His lips went into a straight line, face mildly outraged at being one-upped for a brief moment before sinking into an expression of defeat. "Alrighty then." Without another word, he flung open the TARDIS door. Vi and Olivia were unleashed upon a brand new world.

They wandered the streets of _Haïlon_ , the planet's capital city, exploring markets and parks and exchanging warm words with the locals. There didn't appear to be many (or well, _any_ ) luveringer peoples about. Everywhere the trio looked were masses upon masses of kerryangers - Olivia's disguise. Olivia began to worry about the odd looks being tossed in their direction. At first she just ignored it and focused on the crazy beautiful landscape.

The entire city appeared to be a combination of prehistoric nature and futuristic architecture. Sapphire river streams flowed through the ground like road systems: every stream was a lane carrying floating silver platforms across at the speed of a car. Only one person could stand per platform with protective railing around the waist as they whizzed on down. The pavements were all glassy, like smoothed-over crystal. Lean, tall trees lined just about every walkway and stream. But then there were the buildings; cylindrical and twice the height of the trees, some stretching so high they couldn't even see the top. Most of the buildings were made out of the same crystal substance as the pavement.

Every five seconds Olivia would see something new and burst out in astonished laughter. "Incredible! Vi, look - _look_! God, it's _incredible_!"

Whenever the Doctor worried Vi would respond, he held up a finger to silence her. "Ah-ah-ah - no mouth remember?"

"How do the moon people communicate?" Olivia wondered, bending down to examine a glowing amber flower at the base of a tree.

"Movement," the Doctor responded. He smacked her hand away from the plant. "No touching the poisonous plants please!"

Smirking behind her mask, Vi leaned in close to Olivia's ear and murmured, "Naughty girl."

"Like sign language?" asked Olivia, nudging her girlfriend.

"Mmmm, not quite. More like dancing."

Olivia stopped. "A language of dance. No way."

 _The moon dancers_ , Vi realized.

The Doctor grinned. " _Way_."

They got another hour of exploration in before it was time for some food and a short break. Olivia ordered the first thing on the menu without any clue of what it was, smiled at the waiter, and sat down at a table in the back of the café with Vi and the Doctor. All around them, other kerryangers (still not a luveringer in sight) were casting rather unfriendly glances behind them. Vi returned the glares with an matching venom, Olivia was preoccupied trying to decipher what ' _melted gam liver_ ' was, and the Doctor was busy providing a highly ambiguous explanation.

At leat half an hour later when their food still hadn't arrived, the waiter Olivia spoke to earlier approached the table with a stern look on his face.

"I have been ordered to escort you out," he said.

"Escort us out?" Olivia asked. "Out where?"

He nodded in Vi's direction. " _Their_ kind is not welcome here."

Vi raised her eyebrows like, _ex_ cuse _me_?

Olivia just blinked, stunned and disbelieving. "You're a racist."

The waiter said nothing.

The Doctor laughed. "A _racist_? On planet Gåel? Don't be ridiculous! The last time I was here, the kerryangers and luveringers lived in harmony! Worked together, laughed together, _danced_ together! Where's all that gone?"

The waiter clenched his jaw. "You remember a Gåel of the past."

"How far past?"

"Five hundred years, easily."

"Oh." The Doctor blanched. "Dear. Oh…dear."

"Doctor…" Olivia growled.

"I did _think_ the place looked a little different," he said, and straightened his bowtie with a sheepish blush in his cheeks. "Oops."

Sixty seconds later, having gotten thrown out of the ultra-racist café, it suddenly became very clear to the trio why everyone had been shooting them such dirty looks.

"Unbelievable," Olivia shook her head angrily on their walk back to the TARDIS, "we travel to place thousands of light years away from Earth….and they've still got racism."

"Different planet, same song," Vi said.

"Oi," the Doctor reminded her, "no mou -"

"At this point, I think they'd like her better if she were human," muttered Olivia.

"Olivia," Vi sighed, "baby, it's okay. Still got to see a brand new planet, didn't we?"

Reluctantly, Olivia nodded.

"Hey." Vi took Olivia's hand and squeezed as they walked along. The TARDIS was in their sights. "Next time, we'll go somewhere even better. Planet of the puppies. Won't we Doctor?"

"Planet of the puppies," the Doctor nodded, draping an arm around Olivia's shoulder. He planted a friendly kiss on her hair. "That's right."

The trio had almost reached the TARDIS when Vi felt something hard hit her back. She flinched, and turned around to see three kerryanger males with a handful of pebbles in their hands each, glaring pokers into her back. Before Vi could stop them, the tallest one chucked a pebble that hit Olivia square on the back of the head.

She spun around. "Ouch!"

"You disgrace us!" he spat. "Affiliating with an insuperior species! Grasping their flesh in your own."

"Give me a reason," Olivia shot back, "just one thing that _makes_ her so insuperior, and I'll let go."

Not surprisingly, the idiot kerryanger males didn't have a response to that one.

Without warning, Vi ripped off her purple mask to reveal her very human mouth. She grinned. "Thought not," gave her girlfriend a great big kiss on the lips, and slipped into the TARDIS. She was followed closely by Olivia and then the Doctor, who managed to slam the door closed just as an angry mob pounced.

"Up, up and away!" the Doctor laughed, throwing a couple levers.

The TARDIS jolted and the three of them got tossed against the railing, laughing and cheering.

"The song may sound the same," the Doctor cried, "but _we_ are bloody brilliant!"

And as that blue police box twirled through outer space, the Doctor taught his two brilliant companions the language of the moon dancers.


End file.
